Dissapointment & Anger

Well ladies and gents, I looked closely in a mirror and saw a bulge and then I hoped on the scale and saw the needle go up and up and up.

I am about 4 pounds away from my highest weight. 

The highest weight, which I was a few years ago when I was like, it's time to stop.  I need to lose weight. A few years of hard work gone. Not only that, but I'm almost 20 pounds heavier than I was in February, just a few months back. 

Disappointment, anger, frustration, regret and disgust are some of the emotions I've been dealing with the past few days.  I'm so mad at myself for letting me get to this point.  It didn't need to be this bad.  I could've been more organized - gave myself time to cook, plan out times to exercise, on busy days at least fit in a walk, but that didn't happen. I look in the mirror and I'm disgusted.  Most my shirts looks terrible on me. I can barely fit into any of my pants, but I'm refusing to buy new ones. Yet everyday, I slide a pair on and I'm upset, because I know I could be better than that.

Of course as I'm typing this, I'm sipping a grande peppermint mocha from Starbucks.  One moment while I check the calories.....410.  That's like a meal.  Rough.

I do a lot of good thinking while on walks

Goal Check (Formally Weekly Update)

I don't like the title: Weekly Update, because isn't even post I make an update of some sort?  I am going to continue my weekly check on my goals, and hopefully be more consistent, but I'm going to call it my Goal Check.

But before we get to this week's Goal Check, an update in my life:

26th anniversary of my birth!

Today I'm 26 years old and I'm one year closer to reaching my goal of living to be 100!  I'm spending most of my birthday at work.  Yesterday I had a delicious meal prepared by my mom and shared with my family and my boyfriend, Mike.  It was well rounded with veggies and fruits.  After opening the great gifts from my family, we had homemade chocolate cake!  It had chocolate frosting and was soo good! Definitely helped my chocolate addiction.

I look back on year 25 and I think I did pretty good living a healthy life, but I'm hoping to improve.  In year 26, I'm hoping to get on a regular exercise schedule, try cooking new healthy food, and do more research in health!  Not too mention reading more for fun, seeing my friends more and finding myself a job as a librarian, since I'll have my masters in library science soon.

Cheers to having goals!  Tomorrow is a night on the town with my friends.  I'm ready to dance off some of those cake calories!