Friday, November 15, 2013

Dissapointment & Anger

Well ladies and gents, I looked closely in a mirror and saw a bulge and then I hoped on the scale and saw the needle go up and up and up.

I am about 4 pounds away from my highest weight. 

The highest weight, which I was a few years ago when I was like, it's time to stop.  I need to lose weight. A few years of hard work gone. Not only that, but I'm almost 20 pounds heavier than I was in February, just a few months back. 

Disappointment, anger, frustration, regret and disgust are some of the emotions I've been dealing with the past few days.  I'm so mad at myself for letting me get to this point.  It didn't need to be this bad.  I could've been more organized - gave myself time to cook, plan out times to exercise, on busy days at least fit in a walk, but that didn't happen. I look in the mirror and I'm disgusted.  Most my shirts looks terrible on me. I can barely fit into any of my pants, but I'm refusing to buy new ones. Yet everyday, I slide a pair on and I'm upset, because I know I could be better than that.

Of course as I'm typing this, I'm sipping a grande peppermint mocha from Starbucks.  One moment while I check the calories.....410.  That's like a meal.  Rough.

I do a lot of good thinking while on walks

So my last post about making a plan needs to happen.  I think I need to focus on a couple things to be successful:

Tracking - I learned last year at a work seminar that you need to make your goals with steps that you can track, steps that are very specific. For example, I could say I need to start working out.  Okay that's great, but a better goal would be I need to work out three days a week for at least 30 minutes.  This is a goal that I can easily track, which will make me more likely to succeed!

Simple - I have posted on here before how being healthy needs to be a lifestyle, which to me means it needs to be simple, not to be confused with easy.  I do not want my workouts to be easy, because if they are, they won't work.  Simple meaning that I need to make one or two small changes rather than completely upsetting my life.  Change is easier when you do it in small bit size pieces.  Simple also meaning that I can't do a long drawn out complicated plan with one million steps.  I need simple recipes and workouts that can be done in a hour or less - do to my hectic schedule.

Not getting discouraged - I need to remember that I am going to mess up.  I'm going to miss a workout or have a cookie or two, but I can't let that get me down.  I'm one that once I mess up, I get discouraged and will give up.  No one is perfect and one off day is not going to ruin the rest of the week's good days.  This is something I really need to remember.

With these ideas floating in my head - I'm off to strategize a plan of attack.


  1. You can do it! I know you totally didn't ask for advice but I have a little tid-bit I'm just going to leave here: Keeping a food/drink journal can help as well! On your own or myfitnesspal.[/tid-bit]

    I look forward to seeing your progress!

    - Tabitha

  2. I'm in the same boat as you. I'm so disappointed in myself, and I am determined to get back on track. If anyone can do it, you can!